252

The thing I've discovered in terms of my own effort to lose weight that the one thing that seems to trump everything else is consistency.

If I find a way maybe not to eat the exact same thing every day but more specifically to eat the same number of meals around the same time with essentially the same makeup to them, my body has to react to the change and get the metabolism motor running and make things happen.

Once I fool my gut into thinking there isn't an entire pizza or a late-night run on ramen noodles coming, then it gets off it's lazy ass and starts burning stored up fat.

The past month with the changes that have put my son in my life 24/7 followed by the decree that coffee can no longer be had at your desk at work, followed by being sucked into this full time project last week where not only was I not at my desk at all, but lunches were provided free as long as they were purchased at the work cafe (which is essentially a short order grill) essentially threw almost all of the recent progress I've made out the window.

Or to put it another way -- The Philly Cheesesteaks were good to eat, but they weren't very good to me.

Plus, emotionally I'm kinda shot lately. Despite the fact that I have a constant companion now that my son is living with me, I'm terribly lonely. My center has been kinda blown apart, I don't feel like my life is mine to guide right now, and I'm seethingly angry at the adult who I feel is at fault. If that weren't enough, all of this change has been jarring -- but in such a way that makes me feel selfish and guilty for being angry about it. All of which are topics for another place, but essentially make great supporting arguments when either deciding to skip meals randomly or binge on whatever isn't nailed down the first chance you get.

Anyways, end result -- not in the gym. Not much into the salad fixings. Not much into regular meals, or portion control. Not surprised that the graph is going back the wrong way again.

248

I haven't been working out at all since the boy moved in. Perhaps if you can count Wii fitness, which shows my "fitness age" at 29 (pffft, I wish) I've been active, but seeing this number under 250 was honestly a surprise.

I was told recently that my scale "weighs heavy." That somehow it was reading 5-6 pounds heavier than one at a doctors office. I'm not sure what to make of that -- it's cheapo digital, so it can't really be calibrated -- but there's also a grand chance that the person who said all that didn't like their number and felt a need to fight back by calling my scale out.

Maybe I'll try to find another scale this weekend to compare with.

251

I've been eating badly lately. Last night I had a bunch of Chinese food, and during the week I've found it a lot easier just to order something at McDonald's with my son rather than watch him eat and wait until I get home.

I love having him with me, but I still haven't figured out the "getting into the gym while he's here" angle yet.

So consequently, my weight's gone back up.

I did get a Wii, which gets your heart pumping more than you'd think. Especially that boxing game, and the tennis. Not sure the Wii Fit is worth it, but it's strange to be tired after a game like that.

My PS2's a lazy girlfriend. This Wii chick, she wants to go jogging or some crap like that.

Anyways, I'm gonna try to sneak into the gym this weekend. We'll see how it goes.

249

Did some bad eating in the past few days, and with the life change of having my little boy now living with me full-time, getting into the gym has become kind of a trick. He can't really go in there with me, and even if I snuck him in -- I'm worried he'd mess around on the equipment and get hurt.

His mom had him for a short while Sunday, so I managed to get an hour in there -- but it's the first time I'd worked out in a week, so I'm honestly surprised this number isn't worse.